


Saint Gary and the Dragon (And the Legends. And the angry boss.)

by JZXR7



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: AvaLance, Drunk legends, F/F, M/M, Many drunken screwups, OvrlyExcited!Gary, RIP Gary's desk, Sneaking around the time bureau, Stressed!Ava, practically D&D in real life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2019-06-21 22:16:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15567501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JZXR7/pseuds/JZXR7
Summary: A minor job for the legends goes awry when a post-mission celebration leads to them portaling into the time bureau with a captive dragon. Right in time for its inspection. Can they wrangle their escapee without Ava and Gary losing their jobs?





	1. Chapter 1

0800 hours, Time Bureau Head Quarters, Office of Agent Gary

The scene: A man, geeky, sitting at his office desk. He is engrossed in whatever is on his screen. A loud giggle is heard behind him. He turns. He freezes. A pile of legends is on the floor. It moves slowly, gradually. Groaning is heard. A grinning, swaying Sara drapes herself over the desk. She is quickly followed by her entire team, because Beebo forbid anyone have to stand on their own two feet. Gary is understandably flummoxed. While Captain Lance frequently contacts Director Sharpe, and vice versa, the legends tend to avoid headquarters like the plague. Correction, more than the plague. THAT was a fun trip to the med bay...

The legend pile on the desk is giggling loudly. Gary has only a few seconds to speculate as to the eight baring capabilities of the desk before it collapses before him in a pile of wood and plastic. Uproarious laughter comes form the pile, now on the floor. Upon closer inspection, they are glassy eyed and red faced, reeking of rum, and in clothes better suited to a each than the office. "Hi Gary!" Gary isn't sure which legend actually spoke, but they all chime in with various slurred greetings. He relaxes. The legends may be unruly and drunk, but they are just so  _nice._ Especially Constantine. Gary really likes Constantine.

The exorcist in question looks slightly concerned. Come to think of it, they all do. Nate is patting his pockets, while Ray seems to be looking at one of his gadgets. Gary thinks it is the one used to shrink things. Whatever Ray is checking for, he looks agitated. He begins a whispered conversation with Sara. Gary can make out the words "Wore off," "Possible escape," and "Anachronism." It is at this moment Gary notices Sara is holding a cat carrier, which is swinging open. 

The legends turn toward him, sheepish and vaguely panicked looks on their faces.

"Gary, buddy!" Good old Nate with the bro-ing out and distractions.

"We don't have time for this, mate. There's a bloody dragon on the loose!" Gary is torn between excitement (It's just like his last D&D game!) and terror. The fact that everyone is drunk, in the time bureau, and heavily armed shoves it closer toward terror.

The office door opens, and the legends dive behind the remains of his desk as one. This maneuver is made less effective by the fact that the desk resembles a pancake, and legends like Mick are less than easily hidden. The fact that Director Sharpe is the one entering makes avoiding detection impossible. Sara grins at her and pulls her into a drunken embrace, escapee forgotten. Ava firmly pushes her back, taking in the damage to the office.

" _Gary._ They _cannot be here_ on government inspection day! And fix your desk, we're going to look unprofessional."

The inspection. Gary totally forgot the inspection. Which is not good, because apparently there is a dragon running around? Which is so awesome but not "professional" at all and  ~~Ava~~  Director Sharpe is gonna kill him. 

"Tell Mrs. Captain we can't leave till we got Eddie back!" Mick roars. Or is it just his normal tone? Gary is unsure.

His boss glares. "Eddie?"

Sara winces, but stands to address her. "A dragon. It was causing havoc in medieval England, so we shrank it and put it in here." She brandishes the cat carrier. "Only apparently it escaped. And the shrinking may have worn off by now. You look really hot today, Aves." Sara grins, not bothered by the situation at all. Apparently she is a happy drunk.

"A dragon." Ava doesn't sound impressed. "You put a  _dragon_ in a  _cat carrier_ and brought it here." She pinches the bridge of her nose. "Why am I not surprised? Change of plans, Gary. Get them dressed like agents and find the dragon." She turns to the legends "Split up, shrink it, and  _leave._ I'll show the inspectors around, just...Try not to get caught."

"I should stay with you. To, ya know, protect the inspectors if anything goes wrong." Sara grins. Ava rolls her eyes and walks away, her girlfriend at her heels. Their bickering on whether Sara has to stay or go can be heard from the office. Gary has his money on Sara's drunken perseverance paying off. In the mean time, he has to get the legends dressed.


	2. Wardrobe Malfunctions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherin dressing the legends goes about as expected (Gary POV)

Getting six extremely intoxicated down the hall and into the costuming department takes a shocking amount of time. By the time they arrive, Nate and Mick are carrying Ray, while Zari and Wally stand shoulder to shoulder singing loudly. Gary has given up on finding things in the right sizes, and begins throwing standard issue suits to his compatriots. Forcing Nate into his blazer, Gary notices Zari has fallen over attempting to secure pants five sizes too large, and Ray is wearing his button-up backwards. Clearly, armoring up his party requires higher dexterity than he possesses. Wally comes to his rescue, speed-dressing the men and finding Zari some clothes in the right size. The buttons may be in the wrong holes and a few pairs of pants may be backwards, but everyone is at least somewhat clothed.

 

"Try and dress me and I'll hack your credit score." Wally nods and tosses her the clothes, deciding a delay is worth not having a slashed credit rating. 

 

Eventually, they all stagger out into the hallway. It is decided by the ancient rite of "The Most Intimidating Member Say So" that Ray, Nate and Mick will search the basements and lower floors, where no inspectors will be and brute fore will be able to be used. Gary and Constantine will take the offices, as they tend might be slightly more inconspicuous as the least drunk. Zari and Wally will be stationed at the security feeds, trying to find the darn thing and ordering everyone into position via headset. As long as they find it before Ava has an aneurism, everything should be just fine. Unfortunately, they are the legends, and literally nothing can go right, ever. 

Sara can be heard over the comms. "Guys? It's outside our conference room. I don't know how long they can talk about budgets in here without noticing a freaking dragon. Get your butts over here!"

Any and all decorum is quickly discarded as the drunken mass of poorly dressed legends sprint-stagger down the hall, wild-eyed and utterly without a plan. 


End file.
